


30 Day Free Trial

by zellymaybloom



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Multi, Post-Squip, Rated T for language, its all fine and swell, there will be eventual fluff and angst, this is all you will see for now just click it please, we'll cross that bridge when we get there though hmmm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-08 17:45:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11651556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zellymaybloom/pseuds/zellymaybloom
Summary: oH SHIT I DIDN'T PUT A SUMMARY AFTER I POSTED TWO CHAPTERS WHOOPS OKAY HERE'S A SHITTY EXCERPT:“Practice being a boyfriend,” he had said. He wanted experience, but that meant he needed someone who would be willing to try it out with him. Michael figured maybe he could do that. It’d be weird being in a false relationship with him, but he supposed it would make him happy. If Jeremy really wanted the help, he’d be more than willing to provide it.Trying hard not to think about it, he piped up, “I mean, I’d be willing to do it.”Jeremy dropped the pillow he was holding and leaned towards him and placed his hands on Michael’s knees. He asked excitedly, “You would do that for me?”Trying not to blush at the sudden proximity, he nodded saying, “Yeah, totally dude! That’s what bros are for right?”





	1. establishing michael's one bad decision that subsequently leads to this story

**Author's Note:**

> I fuck up a lot so please tell any and all typos I will forever be in your favor please and thank

“Dude… It’s our _senior_ year, and I’ve had one relationship. I’m gonna be single _forever_ …” Jeremy whined. He lay dramatically over the bean bag, head tilted towards the ceiling with his legs stretched in front of him. Next to him, Michael laughed at his theatrics as his character roll away from the final boss’s attack.

“Ahhh, you’ll be fine. I’m sure there’s plenty of people who’d be dying to go out with you, man. You’re like… Objectively the best person in the world.”

Jeremy made a sound of disbelief as sat up, replying with, “You’re my best friend. That makes it pretty subjective. Besides, I’m pretty sure _you’re_ the best person in the world.”

A small smile spread across Michael’s face at that statement. He reached over his bean bag to give his friend a shove, keeping his eyes trained on the screen. “Awwwwe… Thanks, dude. Buuuuut... You sure it’s not _Christine_?” he joked as he returned to his cushion. As he shot some bullets into a monster’s gut, he became hyper aware of the fact that his buddy didn’t shoot back a response. Tearing his gaze away from the screen, he looked to Jeremy with guilt. “Uh, sorry was that mean? I know it’s been a while, so I assumed-”

His voice was interrupted by a roar and a undead voice saying, “ _Game over!_ ” The screen was splattered in blood. That was his last life.

“Damnit…” he whispered, running a hand through his hair. He silenced the game before crossing his arms and turning to his friend.

Jeremy rubbed the back of his neck as he rattled off an apology, “Sorry! I distracted you, didn’t I? It was nothing really, just like… I dunno. I’m not really upset about Christine? Like, that was so long ago. And I told you, the breakup was kind of a mutual thing; neither of us were really feeling it. It just kinda… Well, first quarter is over right? The year is going by so fast after everything and just… It’s like, I _still_ haven’t made any progress in the dating scene, man. It made me think like… Am I just undatable or something?” He looked up desperately.

Michael could practically _feel_ the self-depreciation. Jeremy’s pained eyes scanned his face for some an answer. He chewed his lower lip as he cracked his knuckles on each hand with his thumb. The quiet popping noise was the only thing heard in the room. With a sigh, Michael picked himself up and squeezed himself next to Jeremy on his beanbag.

Wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him close, he reassured him that, “Come on, man. You are _not_ an undatable person. You are perfectly appealing! Anyone would love to date you.”

Jeremy was relaxed into his touch, leaning his head on Michael’s chest as he sulked. He hoped that Jeremy couldn't feel his increasing heart rate as he felt him turn his head slightly to try and catch his eye. Still unconvinced, he scoffed, “Really?”

 _Really_ , Michael thought. He could list an endless amount of reasons for someone to love his friend. He would be disappointed in himself if he couldn't; he was, after all, in love with him.

For starters, there was his eyes. It was one of the first things he noticed about Jeremy when they met. They were sort of teardrop shaped with strangely dark lashes. Although, Michael supposed it could have been the contrast against his pale skin, or the way they popped against the color of his eyes. They were a brilliant ocean blue, but not like the inky waters off the New Jersey coast. It was more like the brilliant glimmering of the Bahamas. They glittered in the light. Michael knew he could stare at his eyes for hours. It’s not like he hasn’t done it before. His eyes told him so much. He saw his anger, his fears, and his sadness all on display when present. He’d like to say that he saw joy more than any other emotions, but since the Squip Incident, it was a... healthy variety sometimes.

Oh, but that wasn’t even the tip of the iceberg on why he loved Jeremy. They hadn't even brushed off all the snow. He began to get lost just thinking about it, but then he realized he was staring.

Jeremy rolled his eyes and groaned, “Okay so going off the look, I’m guessing no? Not really? I mean I appreciate the honesty and all, but like-”

Michael stopped him, trying to think of a believable excuse for his silence. Somehow, he fumbled out, “No! No, I was just thinking about all of your amazing qualities!” That technically wasn’t a lie.

His face softened to a thankful smile at that, but he still didn't seem to buy it. He started to lean forward and out of Michael’s hold as he humorlessly laughed, “Yeah, sure, like what?”

A sly grin painted itself onto his face as he made a show of cracking his neck and rolling his shoulders. He remarked, “Oh buddy, you don’t know what you just started…” Situating himself on the bean bag so he could see him clearly, he mused that he would be able to continue his previous thoughts out loud. Granted, he’d have to keep his emotions in check, but figured he’d gotten pretty good at that in the last decade.

Then, with a deep breath, he began his great speech in the many charming qualities of his best friend, “Well, you’re honest. Sometimes you don’t really mean to like when you just blurt out random dolphin facts like a fuckin’ weirdo, but I think it’s endearing. I mean like, someone will think that’s cute. And, you’re like a good listener and shit. I’m always going off about documentaries, and most people would probably be bored by that stuff. But like, you actually seem to care about it. That’s really nice. And you like, you get this look whenever you concentrate, and like it’s _super_ intense and like, I’m sure there’s someone who’s gonna’ think that’s really hot. Also, you’re really funny-”

“Tch. Are you kidding me? No one’s gonna’ think I look _hot_ , dude. I’m barely like… Average attractive. Maybe slightly less than that. Do you see this?” At that, Jeremy made vague gestures at his face before sinking into the beanbag.

Michael was absolutely _appalled_ at that. He yelled, “Okay that is _bullshit!_ Come with me okay, you are _one hundred percent_ attractive. Get up.”

“I, what?”

He grabbed Jeremy’s hands and pulled him up. He slowly began leading him to the other side of the room saying, “I’m going to show you everything attractive about you!”

His friend’s normally pale complexion grew into a rosier one as he laughed, “You don’t have to do this, man!” Michael could see he was confused but, at the very least, he was having fun. The smile on his face was worth it on its own.

“Yes, I do! Come on, look at that! Someone’s gotta in love with that grin. I wouldn't be surprised if someone already was,” he remarked. He said it with absolute certainty. It was true after all. Michael knew _he_ had really fallen hard.

Matching Jeremy’s smile, he had him stand in front of the mirror. Behind him, he placed his hands on his shoulders and began to describe him, “You see that? That is one of the mostーno, _the_ most attractive person I know. Beautiful eyes! Gorgeous hair! Stunning cheekbones! Great physique!”

“Michael, I look like a twig.”

“Excuse me, no you are _lean_. Lithe! Slender. You’re wicked!”

Jeremy let out a huff of amusement at the word. Shrugging his hands off of his shoulders, he walked over to sit on Michael’s bed. He moved so his back was against the wall as he sat cross-legged. He grabbed a pillow and clutched it to his chest as he ranted. Michael noticed that Jeremy wasn’t _quite_ speaking to him. He was looking out into the room, just letting out his emotions. Keeping his mouth shut, he let his friend go on.

“Dude… I just… Thanks, man. I really needed that. It just kinda like… It feels like the world is out to get me, ya know? I’ve _never_ had a girlfriend. I always wanted Christine. But like, when I got her, it just didn’t feel right to me. It’s like... You know I’ve been after her for _so_ long. I thought I really liked her. So when like, I didn’t like it? It felt like everything was pointless. I’ve been beating myself up over her for years, so it felt pointless. I mean, I suppose it worked out since she ended up being aro ace and all, but like, it made me think maybe dating just isn’t for me?” he lamented.

Michael sat next to him silently, processing his words. He considered what Jeremy had said and what implications it would have. It meant that Jeremy wasn’t feeling too hot right now and was barely considering dating at all. That implied that should Michael _ever_ confess to him, he may not be into it. Just his luck. And, even if he _did_ like him back, it wouldn’t go anywhere. Fantastic.

His friend continued on, “The thing is though, is like I really _want_ to date someone! I’m like one hundred percent sure I’m not aro. Like I don’t want to be sad and alone forever! Not that, someone like Christine would be of course. I’m sure they get their own satisfaction in friendships and all. But like, personally? This isn’t me trying to be cool anymore. I just wanna be able to be close to someone and do couple things! I wanna just like kiss someone and shit! Hold hands! Be nice! I’m sort of hopeless but like… I just want someone just… _Like_ me.” Jeremy had finally turned away from the room to him. Michael gave him a questioning look as if to say, “ _I like you?_ ” The look was acknowledged, and Jeremy went on to explain himself as he said, “Sorry, yeah I know you like me. Just like… Romantically. And you obviously don’t like me like that.”

 _Fuck you, yes I do,_ he thought to himself. He could say it outloud right here and now, but figured that this wasn’t the consoling Jeremy needed. Michael shifted on the mattress so he was facing him completely as he tried to comfort him, “Look man, I know that things sorta suck right now, but I meaaan… You got a whole lot more years to try and woo someone and just really find yourself, you feel me? It’ll be fine. You’ll find someone who doesn’t care about your inability to plan for shit, or the fact that you probably can’t kiss, and won’t be able to properly communicate!” He ended with a dumb smile as he pushed his shoulder gently.

As he said this, Michael watched Jeremy’s face morph from anxious, to hopeful, and to slightly terrified. His eyes suddenly widened in worry at his final sentence, and he realized that he might have thought too hard about that last bit.

Quickly, he tried to make a sort of amendment to his statement and rushed, “I’m joking of course, you don’t-”

“Oh my god, what if I’m a _terrible_ boyfriend?!” he yelled. Immediately after, he shoved his face into the pillow and screamed.

 _Too late_ , he sighed as he mentally prepared himself for the onslaught of words.

“I won’t be able to like do dates or anything because _you’re right!_ About everything! Fuck, I can’t arrange a date! And ugh, no I _can’t_ kiss! I only kissed Christine like twice! And those were like for three seconds; I’m going to be awful! And what if I don’t tell them enough about myself? What if I tell them _too much_ about myself?! Will they hate me if I overshare my life story? Oh shit, I can’t remember dates. Like, anniversaries? Birthdays? If I forget that then they might think I don’t care! What do I do?! You can’t _practice_ being a boyfriend because like, well that means like another person! Who would want to like, _fake_ date me?”

That last bit caught Michael’s attention. “Practice being a boyfriend,” he had said. He wanted experience, but that meant he needed someone who would be willing to try it out with him. Michael figured maybe he could do that. It’d be weird being in a false relationship with him, but he supposed it would make him happy. If Jeremy really wanted the help, he’d be more than willing to provide it.

Trying hard not to think about it, he piped up, “I mean, I’d be willing to do it.”

Jeremy dropped the pillow he was holding and leaned towards him and placed his hands on Michael’s knees. He asked excitedly, “You would do that for me?”

Trying not to blush at the sudden proximity, he nodded saying, “Yeah, totally dude! That’s what bros are for right?” He cringed at his own phrasing.

He was almost knocked backwards by Jeremy surging forward once more, his arms going around his middle as he spoke into his hoodie, “Thank you so much. You’re the best!”

Hesitantly, Michael wrapped an arm around him as he left his other hand to support their weight behind him.

Pulling himself away from him, Jeremy started to ask a few questions, “So like… I feel like we need to sort of… Set some rules I guess? Like, are we gonna do this at school? Are we going to do like _all_ of the couple things? How long are we going to do this? Are we starting this like right now or...?”

Humming in response, he turned to lean on the wall again as he had before, Jeremy quickly following suit. After a moment of thought, he answered, “I mean, I’m cool with doing this at school. We’d probably have to explain it, but like yeah I’m down if you are. And when you say ‘all of the couple things’ you mean...?” He trailed off at the end.

“Dates, hold hands, kissing. All that? I don’t wanna like force this or anything…”

Feeling his face grow warm at the thought of kissing him, he quickly tried to jump to the next question, “Oh! Um, yeah. Okay. _Anyway_ , I say we just do this for like…” Michael began to think about how nice it would be to just set a long ass time to do this, but his first and foremost duty was as a friend and went with the something that he hoped was reasonable. “A month is probably enough. And so your last question… Is it cool if we don’t do this today? We could just start tomorrow?” He omitted the part saying that it was because he had to wrap his head around this.

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

“Now that that’s settled,” he stood and began to make his way back to the beanbags, “I have a boss level to beat, and this time, I don’t want any distractions, you geek.”

“Dork.”

“Well, as of tomorrow, your dork!” Michael said plainly as he flopped into his seat, Jeremy not to close behind. Scooping up the controller, he turned the game on once more. The music began blasting through his speakers again, and his thoughts were cleared. All he had to think about now was how to defeat this boss.

Two game overs, one win, and seventeen one v. one matches later, he was waving goodbye to Jeremy as he walked him up to his front door. Stepping back into his car, the sound of Bob Marley was met with a nagging voice in his mind telling him that this wasn’t going to end well. Trying to get past it, he simply turned up the tunes and sang along. He would face this whenever he fucking felt like it, and at the moment, he felt like delaying it as long as possible.

Michael only started to think about it after two hours of lying awake on his phone. It was one am, and he had watched every video from his subscriptions list. He knew he would fall asleep if he listened to music, and his mom’s hated that. Deciding that he should _probably_ try and sleep, he shut of his phone, took of his headphones, and rolled over hoping exhaustion would take him before his thoughts got too loud.

He knew it wouldn’t happen. He recalled last summer when he wanted to play The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. He had invited Jeremy over to watch him and encourage him. Also to remind him to try and stay alive. He had ended up staying for three days as Michael played for twnety one hours, slept for sixteen, played for another twenty four, slept for twelve, played for another twenty nine hours to bring it home, ate a Big Mac that Jeremy had practically forced him to eat, and then practically collapsed as he slept for at least twenty hours. Since he wasn’t the one playing, Jeremy had gotten his sleep, but Michael has been _exhausted_. This was nothing. He was now left victim to think about whatever the hell he had just signed up for.

He was going to be “dating” Jeremy for a month if things went well. It was a sort of relationship without the real love. A test for some subscription he didn’t want to pay for. _God,_ it sounded more pathetic than he wanted to admit. Feeling compelled to share this with someone, he texted Rich without explanation.

_i’m not dating jeremy but lemme just say……… im dating jeremy??? but im really not. :///_


	2. so they tell the squad and they're like lmao what??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah bet you weren't expecting chapter 2 posted on the same day as chapter one!!! well. Don't expect double anymore. That would be... a l o t . But yeh. here. Take this content. Wow look at me contributing. Oh and TYPOS TYPOS TYPOS ALWAYS TELL ME PLEASE.

Michael had woken up at six thirty am the next morning with nine texts from Rich. Groggily tapping the app, he put on his glasses from the bedside table. His blurry vision cleared, he just had to sharpen his blurry mind as he scanned the messages.

_ tHE FUK _

_ R YALL DATING NOW??? _

_?!?!?!?!???! _

_ what do u mean though _

_ like.. despite bein That One Guy with an a in english ur vague as fucks bruh _

_ u arent dating or u r _

_ teh FUC _

_ e x p l a i n _

Oh yeah. He had forgotten about that. Lazily dragging himself into a sitting position, he tried to sort things out and clarify that sadly, he was not dating Jeremy Heere. He was too tired to address the mention of bets.

_ uuuuh no.... were not dating aweoigh _

_ its just liiiike.. damn this sounds so dumb now wOW _

_ he didnt want to be a bad boyfriend and was like “blah fuck you cant practive being a boyfriend” and then like me, being a dumb fuck, was like “welp i can help ya there!!!” _

_ *practice _

Flicking his phone off of do not disturb, he leaned his head back against his headboard. Yesterday’s events were... It seemed… It didn’t seem right. That shit only happened in teens’ fanfiction, cliche books, and stupid romcoms that weren’t quite good enough for the big screen and would play on the channels no one watched. He would know. He’s read and watched all of them. It just didn’t seem real that the next time he saw Jeremy, they would be “dating”. Michael knew that for the next few weeks, he would have to tread lightly. If he got too into this, that would be taking advantage of him. Granted, he was the one who dumbly offered to help, but still. Jeremy had mentioned it in the first place.

Speaking of him, the sound effect of collecting a coin in Super Mario came from his phone. The special text tone he had set. Turning the phone in his hand, he read the message from the lockscreen.

_ Hey are you still okay for the dating thing?... _

_ You dont have to if it makes you feel weird or somethin _

Michael hesitated to respond. Honestly, he wasn’t sure if he was still okay with it. It really did make him “feel weird or somethin”. He felt a little disturbed by himself actually. There was one voice in the back of his head telling him two reasons, one much louder than the other. The loud one said, “It will help him though. You heard how desperate he was.” The quieter one whispered, “Lmao dude you could get some  _ action _ out of this!” He tried to tune that one out as much as possible. That was unacceptable. If he was going to help Jeremy, it was going to be to  _ help Jeremy _ . What was the point in helping if you were doing it for the reward? That was selfish.

He figured he’d do it. “Reward” or not. Besides, it had only been a day. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it, he supposed.

Michael brought his leg closer to his body and rested his chin on his knee as he tapped out a reply.

_ nah its all good!!!! two player game right? _

Immediately after, he had received a response.

_ Okay cool. See you at school man!! _

Lightly slapping himself in the face, he let out a discontented sigh and pushed off his covers. He placed his phone on the bedside table as he stood up, ignoring the numerous messages that Rich had sent in reply. He would address any questions he and the group had later. That is, if he even survived the morning. His mind kept wandering to Jeremy.

As he walked out of his room, he thought about holding Jeremy’s hand and swinging it back and forth on a walk. As he greeted one of his moms in the living room, he dreamed about holding Jeremy’s thin figure in a tight embrace. As he ate the pancakes she prepared, he wondered what it’d be like to kiss his unfairly pink lips after staring into his eyes for an intimately long time. As he dressed, he fantasized about waking up in a tangle of limbs after innocently falling asleep in each other’s arms. As he arrived at his house, he tried to fathom what it would be like for that boy to love him back.

And as the front door swung open and Michael was met with a shy kiss, he realized just how fucked he was.

It had gone something like this.

The white painted door pivoted on its old brass hinges, turning into the house. As the wood swept away, Jeremy stood there with a bright smile, his face illuminated by the low hanging sun. Orange morning beams tinted the left side of his face, and cast shadows over the right. He had met Michael’s eyes and started looking down to his converse. Reaching forward to grab his hand, the other one fell off the door knob and up fiddle with the strap of his bag. 

Softly, he whispered, “Hey, Mikey…”

That nickname had been dropped years ago in sixth grade. Michael didn’t quite know what to say to that. He just let out a barely audible laugh and kept reminding himself that he shouldn’t try to enjoy this.

There was a brief moment of silence following the greeting. He just sort of stared at Jeremy, letting him compose himself. He figured that he felt uncomfortable doing this. The whole practice boyfriend thing was for his best friend to gain some confidence in his own ability to treat a girl right. It’d be rude to try and push anything more than that into this situation. So, there they stood. Michael eyeing Jeremy as he finally looked up at him through those dark lashes of his. Jeremy had his mouth twisted and eyebrows furrowed as he seemed to debate something.

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and opened his eyes for one more split second. They weren’t looking at him; they were looking at his lips. Then, he brought his free hand away from the strap and onto Michael’s shoulder as he rushed up onto his toes. His nose bumped into Michael’s for a brief moment as their lips met for a fleeting moment. Jeremy didn’t know what to do clearly, as he just pressed his lips against his for a solid five seconds before pulling away.

Michael wasn’t sure how to respond other than stare wide eyed. His fake boyfriend didn’t look at him at all; his gaze went everywhere except his face. This carried on until their eyes met on accident. Immediately, he stepped around him to go stand in front of the car and began to profusely apologize; Jeremy stared at the grass as he put the distance between them.

“I’m sorry that was bad! I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to do that or not, so I kind of just went for it hoping it’d be fine. If that made you uncomfortable, I’m  _ so _ sorry. Shit, we didn’t establish this in the rules didn’t we? Um, I’m sorry about that. I’m sorry for making you do this. You really,  _ really _ don’t have to do this. This is just a dumb idea I had for myself,” he told him. Never once did his eyes leave the ground.

As he ran out to the car, the whole spiel almost made Michael quit right away. It sounded like Jeremy didn’t want to do this himself. However, the final sentence pulled him back.

“ _..A dumb idea I had for myself. _ ” What were the implications of that, he considered. His mind started flying rapidly, trying to analyze it like some quote from their novel in English.

The first thing he did was remove dumb. He didn’t want to consider its meanings because it was probably just Jeremy’s anxiety speaking. Next, he identified the separate phrases. “ _ An idea _ ” “ _ I had _ ” “ _ For myself _ ” Now, Michael just wanted to look at these. The first two were obvious. “ _ An idea _ ” was the fake dating. “ _ I had _ ” was how he thought of it. “ _ For myself _ ” was a little harder. For himself? How was it for himself? Using the context of yesterday’s conversation, he figured it was something along the lines of improving his chances of getting a girlfriend. Shit.

Michael thought about how distraught Jeremy sounded when he realized he could end up a bad boyfriend. He just wanted help, right? And how could he try and back out after the first day, or rather, first  _ minute _ of trying this out?

A soft thud brought him back. His best friend (he figured calling him fake boyfriend just sounded a little weird. Besides, he would always be his best friend first and foremost,) stood tapping the tip of his shoe against the concrete, scuffing the white toe. Only a few seconds had passed.

His mind raced once again, trying to think of the best course of action. Jeremy wanted to be a good boyfriend, so he figured he should try and make him feel like one.

“Jeremy,” he called, making sure he had eye contact, “that was fine. I think that was… really sweet of you. That was some admittedly poor execution on the kiss, but good intent!”

The boy lightened up at the praise; a weight seemed to be lifted off his shoulders. He stopped tapping his foot and had his feet set firmly planted on the ground. He tilted his head like a puppy as he sheepishly grinned.

“We can… We can work on that, right?” Jeremy asked.

The only way that Michael could’ve described his emotions, was they all stopped functioning. Everything had been replaced with shock. Just… He wanted to  _ willingly _ kiss Michael again? His mind kept imagining Jeremy kissing him over and over until his consciousness got overwhelmed and somehow turned off.

“Hm? Yeah. Sure. Come on though, we still gotta go to school,” he said in a daze as he got in the car and clicked on his seat belt.

Around them, the car rumbled to life as he turned the engine key. Michael took a moment to start playing his morning jams before driving off. The first thing he heard was laughter. Oh! It was  [ this ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKz_fMAbtCw) song. He smiled bitterly as the girl counted off, and the music began. Jeremy sat in silence for a second as he processed the sound. After his pause, he began to hum along to the vocals. This was a variation of something he had shown him before, so he seemed to go along with it pretty nicely. The sound was a nice familiarity.

It wasn’t uncommon for them to have entire car rides without conversations. It didn’t happen often, but there was certainly nothing wrong with it. Car rides were usually times for Jeremy to catch up on whatever the hell Michael was listening to that day. If he knew the song already, he’d let it play in the background, and the two would chat about whatever topics bubbled up in their minds. If not, they’d sit quietly as he tried to learn the song in the three to five minutes it played. The song they were listening to now wasn’t technically a new song, but it was a different arrangement. That was different enough for him to hum.

Usually though, it was totally new. Then, he would miss the pitches and screw up the melodies. In the moments where he messed up, the quiet vibration would stick out from the song and reach Michael’s ear. It was comfortable, and the thought that Jeremy was trying to pick up the things Michael enjoyed made him feel warm inside. The consideration was touching.

And so, like many other days, the ride continued like that. Music, Michael, Jeremy, and the world passing by them through the windows the entire few minute drive.

Periodically, he’d look away from the road to his friend. Jeremy was smiling, his eyes closed. He didn’t blame him. The collection of instruments was fun, and they all came together to make something amazing. He had to admit though, it felt like the world was laughing at him by playing a song that was literally a plea for someone to fall in love with you. Man, the world was  _ bitch _ .

As the song fell to a close and the school parking lot came into sight, Michael immediately stopped the music. It used to be a thing that they would stay in the car to finish the next song, but that was only if it was good. However, Michael thought practically all of his songs were good, and they would sit there every day. That wasn’t exactly a problem, but when only two notes of the next song played, Michael often immediately recognized it as a good song and decided they had to stay again. Jeremy never protested and usually excused it until the day they missed half of first period listening to his good songs. That would’ve been the one year his buddy got perfect attendance if it weren’t for that. Since then, Michael tried to stop his music right as it ended.

So, as the cruiser rattled into the parking lot, he asked about the song instead.

“So what’d you think about it?”

“You’ve shown me that song before, right? This was a different version. I liked it. It sounded… Fuller,” he commented.

“Yeah! I mean, I love the original of course, but I did always wonder how it’d sound with like a whole group ya know? So like, when this came out I was really happy about it.” 

“Well, I mean you always like it when she makes music,” he said as he gently bumped into him. In the second he stepped away, Michael found that in their brief contact, he had grabbed his hand.

“Is this okay?”

There were actually many things about this that Michael could say that  _ weren’t _ okay. Like, how worried he was that his hands would definitely start to get sweaty soon, and how scared he was of getting used to this. None of these concerns were voiced though.

Instead, he simply told him, “It’s cool, dude.”

In response, Jeremy went from holding his hand to intertwining their fingers.

Now at that point, the number of things that weren’t okay raised significantly. His mind was swimming, but after many years of drowning in the great wide ocean of love for Jeremy Heere, he’s learned to stay afloat. His lifeboat was trying to remember that he was straight and would never be into him. That made him feel pretty hopeless, but it usually crushed the thoughts.

As of a few months ago though, that lifeboat sank and he didn’t have a lifejacket. Jeremy came out as bi, and he thought, ‘ _ Hey maybe I have a chance!’ _

Since then, The Unstoppable Train of Gay Thoughts left the station, and his new solution was just to keep his mouth shut, hands off, and try not to stare.

As of the moment, only the latter was possible. It wasn’t hard to keep his eyes trained at the end of the hall. However, when Jeremy kept giving him non-multiple choice questions like this was some kind of essay  _ while _ swinging their joined hands in the exact way he imagined, the first two things became much harder.

He was grateful for his friend’s rambling as he went on to answer all the questions himself. It was almost a very one-sided conversation.

“Hey, so what are we going to tell everyone? I-I mean, we are telling them right? Like, if they thought we were, um, like a  _ real _ couple that’d be kind of weird. Dude, you know about all the rumors and shit. There’s  _ so _ fucking many of them. This will make them worse won’t it? Ugh, it will. I think some people are staring. Are some people staring? Shit, some people are staring. Are you okay? Um, probably not. I’m not really okay either, oh god this is weird.”

Michael only squeezed his hand in response. Yeah, he had noticed the stares. They didn’t do much to help his already increasing heart rate.

He could feel Jeremy start to press himself into his side as his voice sped up, “Everyone is like only lowkey staring though, and I don’t know if that’s better or worse than just flatout staring. I just,  _ fuck _ . Letting go of your hand is probably the only solution, but that’s honestly the last thing I want to do right now and-”

A small body turned a corner and planted itself in front of them.

“Michael  _ fucking _ Mell, you owe me some goddamn answers, young man!”

It was Rich. Oh fuck. Yeah.

The hand holding Jeremy’s went up around his shoulder, and his free hand went up massage to his temple as he told him, “I already laid out the facts to you. Please refrain any and all questions. Neither of us are in the mood to answer them.”

At the end, he referred to the shifty boy under his arm. Rich looked around in an attempt to follow uneasy gaze as it flew around the halls and took note of the people’s eyes. Michael watched as his short friend glared at anyone who dared to so much as glance in their direction. As the faces turned away, he could feel Jeremy begin to relax a little. He also let out a sigh of relief himself. They may have hung out with the “cool kids”, but no one ever really let go of their old status as high school nobodies.

The memory of his old standing on the social hierarchy loomed over Michael’s head as they separated to go to their classes. He spent the day trying to forget the fact that he was definitely still a loser in people’s heads. The thoughts were combatted by his “g00d v1be$” playlist he had made, not to be confused with his “good vibes” and “Good Vibes!!” playlists. That and an eighty second recording of Jeremy talking he had shyly asked for were what kept him sane as he floated from one period to the next. At least since they didn’t share too many classes, no one could see them together. The eyes faded away by lunch.

Quickly making his way to the cafeteria, he sped to the lunch table where he knew everyone would be waiting. He was always the last one there; his teacher always spewed out that, “The bell doesn’t dismiss you; I do,” bullshit. Finding his spot at the table, (in between Chloe and Jeremy, across from Rich,) the group all silenced themselves as he pulled out the food he had prepared that morning.

He tried to act like he didn’t notice and just unwrapped his sandwich and eat as he normally would, but like… He was halfway through the sandwich, and still, no one said anything.

“You guys… You guys wanna’ say something? You’ve been staring at me since I sat down. What’s the hell.”

Everyone but Jeremy exchanged glances with each other, having a silent conversation. Jeremy just buried his head into his arms and groaned. Michael looked back and forth between them all. His companion seemed embarrassed; his ears poked out beneath his hair, a rosy pink painting the tips. He was still, though he made many sounds of protest. In contrast, the rest of the group was very animated, but made no sound at all. They made hand gestures towards each others and shared fierce looks. At some point, they reached a conclusion to whatever wordless argument they were having as they all stared at Rich, making gestures to go on. Rich made a very rude one in return with his middle finger.

Rolling his eyes, he rose out of his seat, planted his hands on the table as he finally piped up, “So, you said that like… You were like… Fuckiiiiin’... Practice dating. What the hell is that?”

Michael inhaled and did what could only be described as the “boi” hand gesture.

“ _ Welp, _ ” he began, hoping with all his being that Jeremy would look up and  _ fucking help him explain. _

The young man did not rise his head from its position buried in his arms.

He knew that there was really no reason for him to have to be so embarrassed about this. It was a little weird, but they were close friends and they should totally be able to do that, he figured. It was just that, well, since he  _ liked  _ Jeremy, he couldn’t help but think the whole situation was pretty sad. They’ve all asked if he had feelings for Jeremy before, and he had always given very… unclear answers. He decided he’d do the same for now.

Michael tried his best to make the situation sound as ordinary as possible, “We both wanted to know what it would be like to be in relationship. Just like… Get experience, I guess?”

He tried to keep his face plain as he told the half truth. He figured Jeremy would be absolutely  _ mortified _ if he had dumped the whole idea onto him. Rich tilted his head, but accepted the odd reason and sat back down. Everyone gave him a strange look and began to throw questions, opinions, and unnecessary comments at him.

“Are you guys goin’ to kiss?”

“Awe, I hoped you guys would actually date.”

“So how long are you going to do this?”

“That sounds lame as fucks.”

“Why don’t you just,  _ actually _ date each other? That’d made it a little less weird.”

“What happens when you ‘break up?’”

Just as suddenly as they voices came, their voices stopped. They all stared at him expectantly. He stared back at them. His hands rose in a vague, “I don’t know,” gesture and shook his head in confusion. He hadn’t quite caught what everyone had said; it all blurred together into an unnerving amalgamation of noise.

Next to him, Jeremy cautiously rose out of his cardigan nest and rested his face on the palm of his hands as he stared at the table.

Michael spared him a glance as he tried to take control of the situation. He requested they only say questions. Any unnecessary comments were to be ignored. Hastily, he added they speak one at a time.

Christine had restated her question first, “So, are you guys going to do everything couples do? Like kiss?”

Michael flushed red as he tried to nonchalantly answer, “Yeah, we talked about that.”

Across the table, Jenna was giving him a sly smile as Rich raised his eyebrows at him suggestively.

Seeming to be genuinely curious, Jake repeated his question in regards to the duration of this little charade. A month.

Chloe asked next why they were just fake dating. Michael’s heart dropped a little inside as he told them simply that they don’t like each other that way. With a sigh that he hoped didn’t sound  _ too _ disappointed, he thought to himself,  _ if he really asked me, I’d go out with him in a heartbeat _ .

Finally, Brooke asked her question, a bit too seriously for his comfort. “What if you break up?”

Michael cocked his head to the side as he said, “Like… When the month is over? We go back to-”

“No, no, like… If you guys like… Have a fight or something?”

Jeremy popped into the conversation, lifting his gaze off the table to meet Brooke’s concerned look. “We don’t fight, Brooke,” he told her.

The way he said it brought a small smile to Michael’s face. Yeah, they didn’t. The smile slowly slinked away though. He began to chew on the inside of his lip as he thought of the small occasions where they did have disagreements. Granted, they typically never grew more than that, but there were a handful of small disputes and events they’ve had where things escalated.

He recalled a time in sophomore year when Jeremy almost got hit by a car twice in the span of three days. He was biking in the middle of the road on his way to Michael’s house. Michael had gotten a text saying he left the house and was then was looking out the window waiting for him, as he always did. The person across the street and a few houses down was backing out, and Jeremy seemed to have his earbuds in as he stared straight at Michael’s house, directly away from the car. He must’ve been in the driver’s blind spot; it didn’t stop as he got closer. Only once the car was almost directly in his path, did he finally take notice and swerve out of the way. Michael sprinted out the door and to Jeremy, who had nearly fallen off as he narrowly avoided the vehicle. Meeting on the sidewalk in front of his house, so as to  _ not get almost hit again _ , Michael had given him a stern talking to. He made him swear to never wear his earbuds as he biked ever again.

The next time he came over, Jeremy was  _ walking _ in the middle of the road with earbuds in. And this time he was looking down at his phone. Instead of getting almost hit by a car backing out, he almost got hit by a car turning a corner. This was closer to Michael’s view. Instead of across the street and a few houses down, it was across the street and one house down. He got a glimpse of the driver’s face as they slammed on the breaks upon seeing Jeremy.

Michael was scared. Frustrated. A little angry. They had another talk. Words were thrown around.

Of course, not having anyone else to talk to meant that they had to make up fairly quickly. And they did the next day. Now though, they had other friends though didn’t they? They didn’t  _ have _ to get along anymore. They had everyone else.

Michael tried to suppress the thoughts. They made it through the Squip. This would be nothing.

_ Ya, sure dude, but liiiike you know that like y’all took like... what? A month? To be like normal again? If you screw this up it might be kinda weird because you were supposed to actually  _ help _ him and- _

_ Hey @ me? Shut the fuck up? _

Silencing his thoughts, he tried to tune back into the conversation. Jeremy was talking.

“...and I fight, I guess we would just stop? I feel like trying to do this while in a disagreement would just put on a lot of strain I guess.”

“Yeah, I get that.”

Hoping that he didn’t phase out for too long, Michael announced, “So. Assuming the fake relationship Q&A is over, can I just like… I don’t know… Finish my damn sandwich?”

At that, he group laughed and resumed regular conversation as they continued to eat. At one point Christine stood and grabbed Michael by the arm.

“Hey, so I told Mr. Reyes I’d help him work on the sound system, but I don’t really know how to do it. Is it cool if you come and help me?”

“Oh, sure!”

Starting to follow Christine out of the cafeteria, she lead him down the hall in the direction of the auditorium. At some point though, she lead took a turn out to the court yard where she sat down him down on a concrete bench before taking a seat next to him.

“Um, hey Chris, you know this isn’t the-”

“I know. I just had to get you out of the cafeteria and away from everyone.”

“Why?”

The girl sighed, brushing her hair out of her face and placing her hands on her lap before turning to him. “I just want you to know, that if you need someone to talk to about Jeremy, I am right here.”

“How did you一 Okay, never mind. Am I obvious?”

“No don’t worry. You just get the heart eyes every now and then. I figured that you liked him… That, and I’m also the designated secret keeper of the group! You told Rich you liked him, and he told me,” Michael groaned as Christine continued, “I don’t know why people tell me these things. If I really wanted to I could probably ruin someone’s entire social standing. That’d be pretty mean. I won’t do that, but people should probably stop telling me things. But I mean, it’s all really nice! Oh, and I promise I won’t, and totally just  _ don’t _ tell people’s secrets. That includes yours.”

Michael struggled to form a response. He could trust Christine. That was just a fact of her personality. It was a universal law that you trust Christine; Not doing so immediately makes you a terrible sinner. So, with a huff of defeat, he reached out a hand for Christine to shake.

“Well, I might as well start venting now.”


	3. wikihow makes an apperance as michael suffers softly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes?? Typos?????? L E T M E K N O W. Also I hope you guys appreciate my chapter titles I take great pride in them.

That day, Michael tried to text Rich. The first thing he had to say at the start of the period was  _ why tf did you tell chris about my pain _ . As the teacher finished inputting the attendance, he got a reply that read  _ ioehgar chrissy needs to kno everything fuck u _ , and well, Michael couldn’t deny that. He had spent much of that classes texting Christine and Rich, along with Jeremy. Around halfway through though, it occurred to him that Rich was  _ still _ texting Christine. He’d say something about how Jeremy was somehow being unbearably sweet in a single message, and then he’d get a text from the girl only a minute later. It had only been one period after lunch, and he  _ had  _ intended to keep the two separate. But, he quickly realized he might as well just make a group chat.

The thought that these two just happened to have all of this information on him was little unnerving. Usually, he only told one person, and that was Jeremy. Michael liked to keep all of this stuff to himself, really. Still, it felt sort of nice to have some people to confide in. His initial text to Rich had been on impulse, and Christine just found out on her own. He couldn’t fault them.

And so, Michael continued to dump all of his feelings into a  _ totally  _ nonconspicuous group chat called, “in which michael suffers”. It was here that he lamented his pains to. In return, Christine would try and give him advice on how to cope with it. He confessed his guilt in the matter, and she would console him, saying that he didn’t mean to do this to take advantage of him. Meanwhile, Rich would relate his own stories of before he and Jake got together from last summer. Sometimes, they would jump off the topic based off of Rich’s tales. The distraction was definitely welcomed.

During sixth period, he had to put his phone away because of a strict teacher, and he was delighted and a little surprised to see 134 messages in the chat. Granted, a great number of them were from Rich; he tended to spam five messages in response to everything. Still, it was a nice surprise. He had probably been thinking about the whole situation for a good thirteen or fourteen hours since it was proposed.

With their help, he was able to respond to Jeremy’s messages with fair normality. At the end of seventh period, he had begun to think he would be able to make it through the day!

Eventually, three o'clock rolled around, and Michael was jogging over to Jeremy in the courtyard with a fresh mindset. He can deal with this. It’s no big deal, just some extra contact and more time spent together right? This isn’t weird. Instinctively, he draped an arm over his shoulders as he often did while greeting him.

The gesture was met with a hesitant kiss to the cheek and a cheerful and slightly shaky greeting.

“Oh! Um, hey. I almost forgot we were doing this, hello.”

Jeremy stared up at him with an awkward and shaky laugh. “Um, yeah about that,” he started to look more invested in the trees than Michael, “I was wondering if you could come over today, and we could… Um… Shit, this sounds weird but like… Can we  _ research _ how couples act?...”

A chuckle began to rise from the depths of Michael’s gut; the idea was certainly laughable. He assumed this would be more trial and error. But, he quickly suppressed it as he noted the expression his companion had worn. Jeremy was wide eyed, lips curled inward as he looked to Michael with an emotion that looked like a mix between determination and embarrassment. He probably knew how weird he was being right now. When he was bringing it up, he certainly acted like it. Still, he asked anyway. He supposed that after all, this  _ was _ for him to become a better boyfriend.

Michael nodded, as he confirmed, “Hah… Yeah, sure. That’s why we did this right?”

“Right,” the corner of Jeremy’s mouth lifted ever so slightly in a ghost of a smile, “Okay, so um… Let’s go?”

“Yeah hold on, just let me tell my mom.”

One phone call later, they were in the car on their way to the Heere residence. Michael turned on the music as he always did and let Jeremy listen to it for a moment. However, he seemed ignore the  [ piano instrumental ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQvXmgqYPNE) as he began to open a tab on his phone. He lowered the volume as he waited for Jeremy to state his case.

“So, while I was in class, I actually kinda sort of might have been looking stuff up? And I was reading through it and-”

“Wait, you looked this stuff up while in class? Like… As we were texting?”

“Maybe?”

A warmth spread across Michael’s heart as he processed the information. The entire time he was talking to Christine and Rich about Jeremy, he himself was looking up how to successfully carry this fictional relationship. He could have been looking up ways to woo him. The act was so dorky and unbelievably like him to try and  _ research _ how to do this.

“Oh my god, that─ wow, um that’s kind of adorable? No wonder you were so unnaturally smooth,” he couldn’t help but remark. Jeremy’s apparent seriousness and dedication to this was cute.

“I, uh, I was just,” the young man stammered. He let out a whine of frustration as he told Michael, “Shush! If we’re going to do this, we’re going to do it right! During rehearsal, Christine always said this thing. You perform how you practice. So I can’t just half-ass this now! If I’m going to go out with someone, real  _ or fake _ , I’m going to be a  _ proper _ gentleman.”

He huffed in amusement as he said the last bit with the utmost authority and certainty. The thought was pleasant. Jeremy, taking him out to some fancy restaurant, opening the door, offering arm… He would’ve liked that. A few more seconds into his thoughts, it occurred to him that a fancy restaurant was definitely not their scene. The smooth jazz, expensive food, dim lights…. Seeing Jeremy in a suit may be worth it, but he would never admit it. Besides, he could get smooth jazz, cheaper food, dim lights, and Jeremy in  _ his sweater _ whenever he wanted when they went to his basement.

Voicing his concerns, he said, “Gentleman all you want, Jere, but we’re not going to any gentleman places, got it? Five star restaurants are too much work.”

In the passenger seat, he let out a snicker of amusement as he suggested, “Okay, what about a four star?”

“No, oh my god, we’re broke high school kids what do you expect?”

“Damnit, Michael just let me treat you!”

“What, is that a part of being a good boyfriend?” he quipped.

Jeremy took in a large breath, as if to start a long rant, but quickly released and mumbled, “I- Okay yeah! Yeah, it is… I mean it’s labeled as doses of spontaneity, but I mean… Yeaaaaah...” before slumping into his seat and crossing his arms. Michael just made a small, single syllable laugh at this tiny victory.

The two sat quiet, letting the sound of the vehicle and the faintly playing music wash over them.

Finally listening to the song fully, Jeremy piped up, “Zelda medley?”

“Zelda medley.”

“Nice.”

A beat passed.

Michael was curious. What did else did the page say? He wasn’t sure how much of this Jeremy was going to take to heart, and he wanted to know what to expect in the coming weeks. The internet was fucking weird sometimes. That, and he also needed to know how affectionate he was going to be or he would die immediately.

“So what did Wikihow actually say?”

“Well, it was a lot of stuff like… Hold on let me open it again. I’ll just read it to you.” At that, he shifted slightly to pull his phone out of his pocket, the pacman on the back being briefly revealed to Michael. He had one that matched. On it, was the red ghost, and putting their phones together made a whole image of pacman being chased.

Clearing his throat, Jeremy began to read of the methods and their steps.

“Okay method one, expressing and sharing feelings. Step one, be honest.”

“Huh… Hey Jere?”

“Yeah?”

“If we’re being honest here… I think it’s really important that I tell you this.”

“Okay?...”

“One time, when I was high, like… I went to your house and I just… I ate  _ all _ of your Pringles. And your ice cream. You had like two tubes of Pringles and half a tub of ice cream and I had some cravings and like-”

Jeremy bursted forward in his seat, whipped around to face him. His seat belt and the fact that Michael was driving was likely the only thing stopping him from leaping at him as he tried to ask, “Dude, what the  _ fuck _ why did you-”

“I was high and I was hungry okay!” Michael protested. He could barely contain his roars of amusement as he tried to keep his focus on the road.

The victim of his vile crime sat taken aback as he went on to say, “I actually remember this!” he slammed his fist on his armrest, “This was like back during finals last year right? I can’t believe you! I bought those for my late night early morning stress snacks and you-”

“I know, I know I’m sorry!” There were now tears in his eyes, and he was struggling to wipe them away while keeping his one hand on the wheel steady.

“Why did you even fucking go to my house?! How come I didn’t even know you were  _ in my house?! _ ” He was in utter disbelief at this. Michael could see in on his face. His eyes were squinting at him as he scrunched up his nose in confusion. His brows furrowed together in deep thought. His mouth hung open, slightly ajar as he waited for an answer. Now, he was leaning into his space, reaching over with one hand on his thigh. The one on the gases. He flinched slightly at the contact and accidentally sped up the car.

His laughs coming to an end, he tried to explain himself, “Awe,  _ hell _ I don’t even know, honestly? Like…  I remember vaguely just like… I wanted to talk to you about finals and I was stressed, so like I smoked right? And I couldn’t drive because I’d have to open the garage and that thing is loud as shit, ya know? So… I walked to your house. But when I got there… I don’t know. I got hungry? And so I ate your food. By then I totally forgot about finals, and that was like the whole reason I had come over… so I just left.”

By then, Jeremy was sitting normally in his seat again and had noticeably reclined back. Both his arms lay on the armrests as he slid downward until his head was nearly level with his shoulders. With a sigh, he shook his head and said simply, “I don’t... I don’t think this is what the WikiHow meant when it said, ‘Be Honest.’”

“Oh shut it we’re here, so now you can tell be all about what it really means to be honest,” Michael said as he parked in the driveway.

Right. They were doing that. They were looking up how to be a couple yes, of course how could he forget? Well, he could forget whenever they lapsed back into their normal friendly banter. He wasn’t sure if that added or took away from the whole experience. He supposed it added to it? It helped him relax. And after all, his moms always told him to that his future boyfriend should always be his best, most prominent friend before his lover. It was good advice, even if it was also them teasing him about his crush on Jeremy.

With a half hearted smile at the thought the two stepped out of the car, and as Jeremy unlocked the door, he went to check on the group chat. Rich was saying something about sporks and other combination utensils. Michael quickly typed out a message about Jeremy’s antics before putting the chat on do not disturb. If...  _ unwanted eyes _ accidentally saw something in regards to these feelings, he would have a big problem on his hands.

_ yaaaaall hes such a fuckin dork he wants to look up how to be good boyfriend and im at his house rn and aouegvuesoh ill text yall when i fucking retURN FROM THE WAR _

Pocketing his phone again, he kicked off his shoes and went up to his room. He chucked his bag next to the dresser and tossed himself onto the bed and scrolled through Tumblr as Jeremy checked in on his dad. 

He liked to do that now. On the days when Mr. Heere didn’t have work, he would go up to his room, office, or wherever he may be in the house. Jeremy would sit next to him and give a general summary on what happened throughout the day. He didn’t have to say much. If he wanted to, he could just say that nothing happened. As long as he was honest, he had been told. After that, Mr. Heere would do the same. At first, it was something Jeremy was asked to do; his father realized that they needed to be more aware of what was going on in the other’s life. He was hesitant to do so at first, but he had confessed to Michael that after awhile, it became rather therapeutic. And some days, if Mr. Heere was in the living room when they arrived, Michael got to be a part of the talks. The first time he witnessed one, he saw how the two really saw eye to eye and began to understand why he had to wait five to twenty minutes whenever he came over.

This time, he waited a little over ten minutes, before he heard a door and their traditional closing of, “Good talk.” Then, there were footsteps, and Jeremy was coming through the doorway and sitting on the floor in front of his bed.

“Kay. Time for what we actually came for.”

“Ahhh… Wikihow. Sometimes the advice is really good. Sometimes it’s utter crap. Let’s see what we got,” Michael said excitedly as he scooched forward to the edge, lying on his stomach and reading over his friend’s shoulder. The words, “Be honest.” appeared as he scrolled up, and Michael joked, “I’m obviously  _ the best _ at that.”

Jeremy caught the sarcasm in it and noted, “Okay, but you’re actually pretty good with that. You’ve told me most of your feelings as far as I know,” he put on a fake bitter tone as he finished, “and you don’t even  _ try  _ to mask your criticism.”

He suppressed a laugh as he said, “You’ve told me most of your feelings.” He wasn’t wrong. It was actually right on the mark. He  _ had _ told Jeremy most of his feelings, aside from the glaringly obvious one. With some guilt and a slightly heavy heart, he accepted that he probably wouldn’t  _ ever _ tell him that.

Jumping off of that and trying to cling to his criticism comment, Michael ruffled his hair and conceded, “What can I say? I have high standards.”

He snorted, “Yet I’m your fake boyfriend?”

“Exactly!” he smiled at him despite him not seeing and hung an arm down from the bed to give him a light hug.

“What do you- Oh. That… Was that a compliment?”

“Mhm.”

“A-anyway, um,” Michael flashed him another unseen grin from behind him, “step two. Trust her.”

He pouted at the screen, “Smh what’s with WikiHow and this blatant heteronormativity. How rude,” he paused as he felt Jeremy shake slightly from a chuckle, “And yeah, we do that too.”

“Yeah.”

“Hey stand up?” he requested as he rolled off the bed.

He walked across the room directly in front of Jeremy as he started to ask, “What are you- Wait are you-? SHIT.”

Michael had turned away from him and spread his arms out and began to simply let himself fall. In a panic, Jeremy had ran forward to catch him. Struggling to hold him up (“Sorry dude, it’s not you, but like I have the strength of like, an ant-” “Not even an ant; they can lift like ten times their weight.” “Shut up.”), he stopped leaning on him and said with childlike enthusiasm, “Your turn!”

Immediately, Jeremy began to turn around and let himself fall, but Michael stopped him.

“I just let myself fall from across the room. Don’t think I’m letting you do this easily.”

“What do you have in mind?”

“Stand on the bed.”

“You want me to- Jesus christ… Okay!” He started to clamber up onto the mattress and spread his arms out. “Ready?”

Figuring it’d be easier if he caught him sideways instead of straight onto him, he stepped to a side a little and prepared to catch him. “I got you, Jere-Bear.”

Before, during, and after Jeremy’s fall, he unleashed a very shrill sound. The fall lasted about one second, but his shriek probably lasted five. The second he fell there, he immediately wrapped his arms around his neck and curled his lithe body into his chest. His face was pressed into Michael’s neck, and he could feel his hair tickling his ears. Jeremy’s heartbeat was racing not too far from his own. It was almost nice aside from the inhuman screech. Regardless, the landing somehow seemed to both startle and comfort Jeremy at the same time.

“I didn’t know when I would land, so honestly, when I hit you,” he paused to take a breath; the fall had apparently knocked the wind out of him, “I freaked out, but oh god, I don’t think I’ve ever felt more relieved. I don’t ever want to do that again. We trust each other, cool, that’s good, let’s move on!”

Michael had half the mind to toss him onto the bed, but he figured that would’ve been mean. Still, he wanted to try it, so he asked him, “Would you mind if I just chuck you onto the bed?”

“In a bit, just… Just give me a moment.” Still trying to breath apparently, he pulled himself impossibly closer. Taking deep breaths, Jeremy nuzzled into Michael as he held him.

His brain was spinning. Spinning from the fact that Jeremy may have accidentally punched him as he fell, but also from  _ holy shit he’s in my arms _ . Sure, they’ve hugged, leaned on each other, and Michael could tell you the exact number of times they’ve woken up from a sleepover tangled in each other’s limbs (73), but they’ve never just… The contact was either very little, or he was too tired to enjoy it. And here was his crush since middle school, incredibly close, snuggled into him, and just in general,  _ all up in his business. _

Michael began to feel himself grow warm. His face, neck, and chest were both growing undeniably  _ hot _ , and anywhere where Jeremy was touching his skin was burning. He had always denied himself of this, the simple pleasure of being close. He was used to one or two points of contact. An arm around a shoulder. Sitting thigh to thigh. A head resting on a stomach. The occasional piggyback ride. They touched, but it was never something this… intimate. Could he call it that? Maybe this was totally normal and he was just touch starved? He wasn't sure. It wasn't as if he hadn't been this close to someone before. He came from a very touchy family. Not only that, there were some affectionate people in their group. And it wasn't that he didn't like touching; it wasn't unusual for Christine to casually sit on people’s lap as she watched music videos, or for Jake to hug people from behind and rest his chin on their shoulder or head, depending on how tall they were. Michael had actually been in a not too different position with Rich before when he wanted to reenact some scene from a movie. Was it just because it was Jeremy?

_ Why the hell are you even asking yourself? Of course it's because it's Jeremy. _

Yeah. That was it. Growing up, they were actually pretty cuddly with each other. They cuddled as they watched movies, and when they slept, they would start off wrapped around each other instead of it happening through the night. As Michael started to come to terms with his feelings and sexuality in sixth grade though, he was afraid he would come off rather forward. So, when he came out, he told Jeremy very plainly that he would not cuddle him anymore. And so, the cuddles disappeared along with the nickname, “Mikey”. Although slightly disappointed, Jeremy had just nodded and asked for one more special hug. Michael asked him what he had meant, and Jeremy had replied, “The one that lasts.”

And while not exactly a hug, Michael's current hold on him was certainly lasting a long time. He almost believed he had fallen asleep, but after countless sleepovers, he was able to tell the difference.

“Hey. You good?”

Jeremy remained silent for a moment before mumbling something.

“What was that?”

Pulling his face away from his neck, he spoke softly, “I kinda missed this. Why did we stop doing this?”

Aware of the fact that he could probably see his blatantly obvious blush, Michael figured he should at least try and  _ talk  _ smoothly. “Well, it was because I was gay, and you still thought you were straight. I didn't wanna be weird.”

“That's dumb. You were dumb in sixth grade.”

Finding humor in the sincere moment, Michael shot back, “Yeah, but at least I didn't think I was straight.”

“Pft.” Jeremy flicked his forehead.

“Ow! What was-”

Jeremy pressed a quick kiss to his jaw.

“-that… for? What were those for?” Michael’s widened for a second as he felt it.

He watched Jeremy as he started to swing his legs out of Michael’s grasp and onto the floor. Straightening his rumpled blue sweater, he shoved his hands in the pockets and said, “The flick was because those days were a dark time, and we don't acknowledge them. The… The kiss was because it just seemed like I should? That was a good comeback, and I was close to you, so I did it?... Sorry, am I spontaneously kissing you too much? If you want me to tell you before I do it, I can totally do that.”

“No, it's fine. I think that like, I don't know? You're doing all this, and I think it's good for you to um, practice this whole thing, but it just feels weird because I haven't done anything, I guess,” he admitted as he sat back down on the edge of the bed.

Sitting down next to him, Jeremy shyly let him know that he could do the same if he wanted to. He felt tension. He felt like he should be saying something sincere, say something  _ big _ . They’re really doing this thing. They’re “dating”. Reality kept slapping him in the face whenever he thought he was okay with it. Jeremy seemed pretty unashamed to do this, and his continuous stream of sincerity and affection kept catching Michael off guard. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to say something gentle and sweet in return.

Pushing down the swelling feeling that something had to happen, he responded with a curt nod and swiftly reddening face as he tried to steer them back to the task at hand: reading the WikiHow.

Taking Jeremy’s phone, he opened it with his thumbprint, which he had immediately put on the phone the day his friend had received it.

“ _ Anyway! _ The third step says to contribute equally to conversations. Whatever, okay, we already do that. Next up, be a good listener. Yeaaaah… Learn to compromise, be supportive, be sympathetic…” He began to scroll through quickly, growing impatient with the general and unhelpful steps. “If that’s all it takes, you’re a fantastic boyfriend. Welp, method two. Showing Affection. Mmmm… I guess I should actually read this now. Okay, step one, show affection often. Blah, blah, don’t over do it. Um, hey Jeremy did you read this  _ entire _ thing in class?”

“I mean, it was like skimming through the bullet points…” His arms were wrapped around his torso as he tilted his head away. Still, he watched Michael from the corner of his eye.

“You’re so…” he struggled to find a word. _ Cute. Adorable. Endearing. Charming. Entrancing. Perfect. _ He decided against all of these and settled for affectionately bumping into his side. He continued, “Okay, we’ll just keep reading through this. Appreciate her- No, I am gay. Appreciate  _ his _ beauty.”

“You gave me like… an entire TedTalk on why I was attractive. You’re a great boyfriend, Michael.”

He grinned proudly and flushed pink at the title. “I did that, didn’t I? Okay, your turn. Tell me I’m pretty.”

“You’re very pr-”

“No!” He scrolled to the next step and began to wave the phone in Jeremy’s face as he clarified, “It says here, complement sincerely. That was basic. How dare you.” Michael turned his head to glare at him.

“Okay, fine, sorry for the bad compliment,” he laughed. Reaching forward, he carefully adjusted Michael’s glasses, which had gone askew from the catch and further slipped as he stared down at the phone. After putting them back in place, he did not retract his hand. Jeremy looked him over for a second before he met his watchful gaze and said, “I’ve always thought that your glasses framed your face and showed off your eyes really well. Is that better?”

“Yes…” he whispered quietly.

_ What the fuck, that was so gay. I’m so gay. I’m so gay for  _ you _ please stop this?! Stop being so smooth. How are you even this smooth oh my god I love you,  _ he yelled internally.

Seemingly satisfied, Jeremy pulled back his hand snatched his phone out of Michael’s grip. He began to read the rest of the list out loud, but Michael was reaching some limits he didn’t even know he had. Excusing himself to go to the bathroom, he picked up his phone from the bed and told Jeremy that he could read the rest on his own while he was MIA.

Going to the bathroom, as he figured he might as well  _ actually _ go, he opened his phone to find more messages from Rich and Christine, as well as a skype message from his online friend and an invitation for froyo with Brooke the next day. He replied to his online friend ( _ ill be on at like 8!! or tenoclock your time mitch. well show those punks the wrath of m&m _ ) and Brooke (yeah sure!!) and then went on to send some more elaborate texts to his emotional support group.

_ I,,,,, what,,..,., FUCK!!! hes so fuckin oawehfoehg i cant fuckin awieohgaoishdowef hes just weoivhewse im ioawheewio okay so like the fuckin wikihow (hes!!! such!! a!!!!!! DORK!!!!) said trust and shit and so i was like uwu trust fall and he caught me ya okay so then IIII was like aiGHT YOU GOTTA FALL OFF THE BED IMMA CATCH YOU (it wasnt like as enthusiastic but ya know) and like asidofhefi so when he fell i just _

[icradledyouinmyarms.jpg]

_ I CRADLED HIM IN MY ARMS AND OHOOOOO BOY THIS ISNT WHERE IT ENDS _

At this point, Rich had texted him back saying, “ _ fuCC dude thats so wild also never say uwu again i will cut u _ ,,,,” but Michael chose not to acknowledge that. He continued his vent.

_ SO IM HOLDIN HIM AND SHIT YEAHHH?? I THOUGHT HE SEEMED STRESSED AND SHIT FROM THE FALL AND SHIT SO IM LIKE YO YOU OKAY AND AERIG ERAGVERAGIOAHRG HNGGGGGG _

_ (i said “and shit” like three times yikes) _

_ anYWAY HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MYYY AOSG EHOGOAEG _

_ IM _

_ I DONT.... _

_ IM STILL PROCESSING THIS RN TBH _

_ k so background info: when i came out to him in sixth grade i like………… i just told him that i wasnt really gonna be all touchy anymore (BIGGEST MISTAKE IN MY LIFE TBH) and like we havent really been like that since?? _

_ SO YEAH HE FUCKIN…. WHILE  I N   M Y   A R M S  …. SAYS THAT HE MISSED THIS??????????? _

_ D E AD _

_ AND THEN AFTER THAT I JUST JNGEGOIEAG HE SAID I COULD KISS HIM AND THEN HE WAS ALL SOFT AND SORTA FIXED MY GLASSSES IM JSUT I C A N N O T _

_ YEAH OKAY BYE HES WAITING FOR ME _

With a deep breath, he pocketed his phone and went back to Jeremy’s room. As he walked through the doorway, he found Jeremy lying on his stomach with the phone in his hands.

Noticing Michael enter, Jeremy began to sat up as he said, “Ya know, we actually do practically everything here? Except for um, take care of yourself. We could stand to sleep more and eat better, but generally, we’ve gotten better at that! So… I don’t see how we could do much more other than like… Um… We still haven’t…”

He made hand gestures to imply something. His gaze danced across the room. A shade of rose began to creep across his cheeks.

“Haven’t what?” Michael asked.

“We haven’t like…  _ really _ kissed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @ commenter anon whoops I borrowed your thing calling Michael's little rant a TedTalk aha it was Good. If you'd rather I not do that lemme know!! Also yikes I can't believe this got to almost 5k words?? (4944 words if anyone was wondering) I just went on so many unnecessary self indulgent little tangents heh... So yee. Watch out for that next chapter lmao leZ GO. That was actually supposed to take place in this one. But. Ya now. Unnecessary self indulgent tangents. Yikes.


	4. i mean he fuckin signed up for this idk what he was expecting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tell me all of the big bad typos and loose words I forgot to delete please and thank!! Like... What I do is just like "no editing we die like men" and like I eventually edit it later but i edit on a google doc and never add the edits here yikes... So its really appreciated if you tell me this!!

Michael was currently in the middle of a war in his brain. Various aspects of his personality had all taken sides and were now dropping bombs of reason on each other. The two sides had both had a clear objective: fight or flight. Accept the unspoken proposal, or deny him. Both options seemed equally dangerous, and if he made the wrong decision now, he would have to pay the price. Which one would it be?

In a panicked attempt to buy more time, he used all of his confidence for the day to ask, “So… You want to kiss me?”

Jeremy blushed a deep scarlet as he spluttered, “I mean, when you put it like _that_ it sounds so- I don’t know but it sounds really… Argh!” He hid his face in his hands and curled into his knees.

With a laugh, Michael tried to put him out of his misery and clapped a hand onto his shoulder. “Hey, it’s cool dude I know what you meant,” throwing caution into the wind he paused for a moment before letting him know, “and um, yeah. You didn’t say it outloud when you offered it but like, yeah. We can… Work on the whole… The kissing thing.”

Clasping his hands together and nodding, Jeremy turned to face him. He just kept nodding though, not making any more effort to initiate anything.

Michael chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment before asking, “So… we’re going to this?”

“Yeah, I mean if you’re okay with it?”

“I already said I was.”

“Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah… Um… Could I… Could I look this up again?”

The question in itself didn’t quite surprise Michael so much as it caught him off guard that he asked it in the first place. Despite just how… Well, Michael could only describe it as how _NSFW_ Jeremy could be sometimes, he kept finding ways to come across as pure innocence. How he got so excited over such tiny things like holographic stickers and origami animals. How childlike he became when sleepy. Right now was no exception to Jeremy’s ability to become an angel within seconds.

He chuckled, telling him, “I mean, if you want? This doesn’t have to be perfect. It’s not like I have anyone to measure you against.”

It was true. Michael hadn’t kissed anyone in his entire life. Perhaps a quick peck on one of his mom’s cheeks, but aside from that, he never gave or received any. So, when Jeremy had given him a little one that morning, it was technically his first. He decided to not count it since he didn’t return the action, but it was certainly something he was fussing over. This would be his first kiss. And with Jeremy! A moment he’s been dreaming about since he was eleven.

Ah… His first kiss would be with his crush.

In a relationship the other wasn’t totally taking seriously.

It occurred to Michael that he definitely should have thought this out more before volunteering himself, but it was too late to back out.

With the reality of the situation crashing down on him, he spiraled out of his mind to see Jeremy staring at him incredulously. His jaw hung open slightly, and the fading blush began to rise up again from his neck to his ears. Eyes wide open, he blinked back shock and tilted his head in confusion. He spaced out briefly. Michael couldn’t understand his mumbles, but he seemed to be working something out as he snapped his fingers, a habit he tended to do while lost in thought. (He had been asked many times to stop during tests. Many, _many_ times, but he couldn’t help it.) Waiting patiently for Jeremy to reach some sort of conclusion on his mental dilemma, he noticed him pause a few times. He’d stop snapping, the mumbling would get faster, and then he’d shake his head. Michael could almost make out the words, “Fuck. No,” afterwards.

After a minute, he could tell he was getting frustrated. The snapping got quicker, his other hand gripped the sheets, and he was slouching much more than usual. This was often where he’d stop him.

“What are you thinking about?” he questioned. He’d learned that if he tried to stop him _directly_ Jeremy would only think harder about it; he had to steer him away from it. Or at the very least, let him help with the problem.

The boy stopped snapping and his grip on the blanket loosened. He stared at the adjacent wall with a look of discontent as he finally spoke, “I’m just confused. How have _you_ not had your first kiss?”

_Because I didn’t talk to anyone before this._

_Because I’m always with you._

_Because it_ had _to be you._

“Because I’ve never liked anyone like that, ya know?” He lied. It would have been too much to say the person he wanted didn’t want him back. There would be questioning, and that wasn’t what he needed right now. What he really needed was to just get this over with so he could let it settle in. An emotion had settled in his stomach and was rising in his chest; what was it? Anticipation? Anxiety perhaps? He didn’t know, but he did know he wanted it gone.

Taking note of Jeremy’s infliction on the word “you,” he pointed it out. “And what do you mean by _you_?”

“Oh. Okay. And I meant that like, you seem well… You seem too cool for someone who hasn’t had their first kiss?”

Michael let out a huff of amusement as he crossed his arms, feeling noticeably warmer. “Do I now?”

“Yeah!”

The small twitching smile on his face had fallen. He didn’t quite know why, but the answer disappointed him. He wasn’t expecting much. Afterall, he had asked a yes or no question, and he got a yes. Jeremy confirmed that he thought Michael was cool, and it was nice. Maybe in the back of his mind, he wanted him to say something excessive and nice as he had yesterday. Scolding himself for wanting such a thing when in a _fake_ relationship, he realized Jeremy was waiting for a reply. Searching his mind for something witty and charming to say in response, Michael came back empty handed. He really did use all of his confidence in that one phrase. After thinking too long for it to be comfortable, he settled for trying to initiate the previous conversation smoothly.

“So we still have to kiss,” was the first thing that came to his mind.

 _Very smooth_ , he cringed.

Thinking back to his feelings from earlier, the one’s he had imagined to be anticipation or anxiety, whatever they were then, had changed. In this moment, Michael saw it as fear. Fear of disappointment. No matter how he imagined it, or how much he wanted it to be, it wouldn’t be genuine. However well this went, the kiss wouldn’t hold any of the passions that he wanted it to. Swearing that he wouldn’t let his anguish affect Jeremy’s torturous concept of “practice,” he told himself that he wouldn’t initiate anything.

So, he sat still and let Jeremy do the work.

With a silent nod, he shyly slid his hand to interlock with Michael’s. Michael forced himself to stare up at Jeremy’s eyes as he in turn looked at Michael’s lips. He tried not to think about how Jeremy’s briefly curled inwards as he gave them a lick. The young man scooted closer and pulled his eyes away from Michael’s mouth. Still, he didn’t lean in. Not yet. Jeremy offered him a smile and gave his hand a squeeze. Only after this reassurance and his tiny movement forward did Michael allow himself to move forward. As the two inched closer, they held each other’s stare. A second away from making contact, Michael watched Jeremy’s eyes flutter shut and followed suit.

He didn’t know when they would meet and worried he would mess it up. All he knew about kissing was that he should remember to tilt his head and quickly did that in the fearful moment between the touch. His heart began to run circles inside of him as he waited. He was still afraid. Aside from emotions, Michael could only feel warmth in his chest and on his face. Then, he realized he could also feel Jeremy’s breath and suddenly, his lips.

Both were seemingly caught off guard. Michael had sharply inhaled and heard a high pitched hum incredibly close to him. He noted that if he had not known it was Jeremy, he would’ve thought it was himself. The sheer proximity was overwhelming. He could smell the lingering aroma of his shampoo and as he tried to figure out what to do with his mouth, realized he could _taste_ him. Ignoring the clattering of teeth and whispered, “Sorry,” against his lips, he found that Jeremy tasted of fruit punch and lemonade. Michael found himself more enamoured than ever before. With guilt and some saliva, Michael pressed forward; he smiled into the kiss as he felt Jeremy move forward as well. This was better than any high he’d ever experienced.

Granted, it was still a pretty shitty kiss. Neither of them had the vaguest idea of what they were doing, so mimicking each other’s actions wasn’t doing them very well. As he felt his neck grow uncomfortable, he also assumed that they could’ve gone at a better angle than sitting next to each other. At least Jeremy had turned his whole body to face him. That, and the hand not linked with the other’s hung loosely at his side. He had slowly slid it up his arm and shoulder to hold the back of Jeremy’s neck, but as his fingers trailed over it, Jeremy had made a strange sound somewhere between a gasp and a whimper. He started to fall forward. Michael would almost describe it as melting. Startled, he pulled back and wasn’t sure what to do with it. By then, he was running out of breath and chose to pull back entirely.

A rosy complexion found itself upon Jeremy’s face as he made a quick apology, stating, “I’m sorry that was a weird noise! I don’t- I um, I don’t know _why_ that was weird um-”

Michael flashed him an understanding smile, “Hey, it’s cool, man. I know you’re ticklish.”

An inquisitive look passed over Jeremy’s. He took a moment before he responded loudly, “Yeah! Yeah, that tickled. Hah. Yep! That’s why I… That’s why I made that sound.”

The sudden volume was clearly unnatural. He was being far too agreeable, and Michael had to know why. He thought out loud, “Ya’ know, have you ever been ticklish on you neck before? I’ve always poked your sides, haven’t I? But like, I think I’d remember if you were ticklish there? Have I really just never touched your neck before?”

Replying far too quickly, Jeremy answered, “No! You have _not!_ Like you said yourself, you would remember!”

Narrowing his eyes at his jumpy companion, Michael corrected him. “No, I said I’d remember if you were _ticklish_ there. Are you okay, dude?”

He noticed the color on his cheeks intensify as he insisted, “It’s _fine_! I wasn’t expecting it, and like um, wouldn’t anything feel weird if you didn’t know it was coming?!”

Michael was not buying this. He’s figured out when Jeremy lies. The boy would get agreeable, loud, and just generally made a fool of himself by over exaggerating. Practically everyone could tell when Jeremy was lying. Narrowing his eyes at him, he asked in a _very_ serious voice, “Jeremiah Peter Heere, are you lying to your favowite person?”

With a heavy sigh, he conceded. “Yeah,” he admitted with a heavy sigh.

Not yet satisfied, Michael went on to inquire, “Okay. Figured. But like, why? What are you trying to hide? If you don’t want me touching you neck, I totally get it. You don’t need to-”

“I know! I know. Just… I dunno’... It wasn’t a bad feeling? It sort of just felt tingly? But like everywhere.” Jeremy shrugged. He didn’t seem sure where he was going with this. Tentatively, he brushed the back of his neck. This time however, he did not seem to experience the same chilling feeling.

There was a whisper in the back of Michael’s mind. _Was it like… Did I accidentally turn him on or something what the FUCK,_ he pondered. It sounded impossible in thought; how could it happen in practice? He figured he should bring it up, but he also didn’t want to sound odd if he was wrong.

Fighting against his conscience, he asked in a joking tone, “So… Did I arouse you?” as he nudged Jeremy in the shoulder.

Expecting an entertained and embarrassed denial, Michael was met with silence and then a very soft, “ _Holy shit_ ,” as Jeremy suddenly hid his face in his hands.

The two froze. A nervous laughter slowly found itself rising from Michael; at the same time, he felt his face heat up. _HOLY SHIT IS RIGHT WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE,_ he thought. He felt sort of bad for laughing, but the situation in itself was something he’d never imagine. The scenario has been played out before, but only in fiction. Character A accidentally turns on Character B as they practice kissing for their fake relationship. He did that! Kissing Jeremy, Jeremy kissing _him_ , Jeremy getting _fucking turned on_. None of it seemed real. Yet, here he was. Bright red Jeremy sitting next to him as he finds himself turned on by his touch.

Falling back on the mattress, he wiped his suddenly teary eyes as he wheezed, “ _Dude_.”

“Shit. Fuck. Holy fucking shit, sorry oh my god. I didn’t even realize-”

“How?!” he shouted in an amused disbelief, “Man, don’t you fucking masterbate like every day or something? You think you’d know what you like and what you don’t?”

Crossing his arms defensively, Jeremy struggled to find his words. “I’ve never- I don’t- It’s just that I thought-! I don’t know! It’s just like, um, when I do, argh, _that_ , it’s not like I reach up? I’m usually pretty occupied with something else! I never really- No one’s ever-,” he uncrossed his arms, making a motion around his neck, “Touched me!”

“Awwwe, Jere-Bear, you’re all sensitive! You gonna’ pop a boner or something next?”

“Sh-shut up!”

With a final chuckle and a significantly less red face (at least in comparison to Jeremy,) Michael let him close the topic. “Yeah! Okay, whatever! We’ll pretend that didn’t happen.”

“Thanks…”

Standing up, Michael decided he needed a break. A maybe a good vent in the groupchat. Yeah… That sounded good. He took moment to stretch his arms and a legs before turning to Jeremy. As he turned, he found he already had his attention. “Hey, so I’m going to get us some water and snacks. Maybe raid your pantry again. You want anything?” On a normal day, he would’ve just asked, “You coming?” but this was not one of them. Michael realized he probably wouldn’t be having a normal day in while.

After noting that Jeremy wanted his Pringles (“Sour cream and onion, please. Do _not_ eat them this time.” “That was _one_ time while I was high.”) and lemonade instead of water, he started to go downstairs. Reaching the bottom, his tetris patterned socks slid across the hardwood open entry room, dragged across the carpet of the living room, and glided over the kitchen tiles. Before opening the cupboard, Michael leaned over the countertop as he pulled out his phone. Finding the groupchat, he began yet another spam of emotions.

_hey im dead im dead im dead im dead im dead im dead im dead im dead im dead im dead im dead im dead_

_fuck_

_wieorghioawgoawijgoaijoia_

_!!!!!!!!_

_WE KISSED AND IM SOIFHWEIOG,,,  OK SO GOEIGGAWGIOBHIAOGH_

_I MEAN TBH IT WASNT A GOOD KISS WERE BOTH UTTER GARBAGE AT KISSING BUT I MEAAAANN… WAIOGJWRG OK THIS ISNT THE GOOD PART ANIERGOASD GITS SO IMPORTANT IM DEAD IM DEAD IM DEAD IM DEAD IM DEAD IM DEAD IM DEAD_

_YALLLLL SO IM FUCKIN DOIN A SMORCH_ _AND ITS ALL GOOD AND WELL (BUT NOT REALLY YA KNOW) AND IM LIKE SHIT WHAT DO I DO WITH MY HANDS?????? SO LIKE I JUST KINDA HOLD HIS NECK AND OWAIGHOG FUCK OKAY APPARENTLY HES SENSITIVE OR SOME BULLSHIT BECAUSE HE DID THIS WAEGIEIGO,,, HE DID LIKE A WEIRD WHINY NOISE ANDA GOIEAW_

_HE SAID IT WAS TINGLY AND ??? I ACCIDENTALLY FUCKIN TURNED HIM  ON SHGHWIEHOLY SHIT IMMA FUCKIN E X P L O D E AND IM JSUT I CANNTO BELIEVWA DIOGWROG_

_OKIE BYE I WAS JUST GETTIN THE FUCKIN SNACKS AND EWGIG YALL HAD TO KNOW YIKES RIP ME_

Quickly rushing over to the pantry, he grabbed their snacks and drinks and just hoped that it didn’t take too long. About to reach the stairs, he checked the group chat before ascending. There was a text from Christine. It said,

_Michael, I think you should tell him how you feel soon. Jeremy said he felt sparks while kissing you! I’m sure that’s more than sexual attraction. He’s clearly putting on a lot of effort to make this good. Who says it isn’t for you?_

The message brought both a smile to his face and an ache in his heart. He _wished_ Jeremy felt sparks. He knew he certainly did. But no, he had said tingles. Not sparks. There’s a difference. Why Christine had to word it like that he didn’t know, but it wasn’t something he wanted to dwell on. And him? Jeremy trying for him? That was a good one. He didn’t seem to be trying too hard for _anyone_ lately. Since Christine, Jeremy hadn’t told Michael about any new interests, and he was always the type to overshare. Michael actually had half the mind to put the food down to text her back, but his hands were still full and Jeremy was waiting. Knowing that Christine would understand why he didn’t reply, he put his phone away again before making his way back to Jeremy’s room.

Upon entering, he found the boy laying on his back, staring at the ceiling. His hands were clasped over his stomach with the phone, and his eyes were closed. He seemed deep in thought about something. The image reminded Michael of Sleeping Beauty. As soon as he saw it though, it was replaced by Jeremy’s movement.

His eyes had popped open a split second after the sound of the door. He sat up, walked over, took the food and drinks from Michael’s hands, and began to put them on his desk. Looking back to the bed, Michael noted that Jeremy’s phone was open; he had texted someone while he was gone. He made a move to go check it, but suddenly, Jeremy was in his path as he announced firmly with an air of _clearly_ faked confidence, “W-we need to try that again.”

Michael knew what he was talking about. Really, he did. But was he going to be the one to start it? _Hell no_. He was still trying to process the information from the last one. In fact, he was honestly surprised that Jeremy still wanted to kiss him.

 _No, Michael. He wants to_ practice _kissing. Stop that._

Whatever it was, the fact that Jeremy would still willingly kiss him was a little surprising. He assumed that he would be put off or too embarrassed to want to do it again. It was comforting, but also unnerving. Michael figured that all of this stuff should be left for the person that Jeremy loved. It didn’t seem right for him to do all of this in place of someone who would love Jeremy more. Or at least, someone who _could_ love him more. Michael wasn’t sure if there’d ever be anyone who cared for Jeremy as much as he did.

Perhaps that was why this practice relationship was upsetting him. It was all for someone else. It _should_ be someone else. But it wasn’t. It was him. The thought brought a great amount of guilt to him. Sure, he wasn’t _really_ dating Jeremy, and Jeremy wasn’t even in a relationship right now. Yet, it still felt as if Jeremy was cheating on someone else.

With an unsure frown, he asked him, “Are you sure?”

“Yes. Yes, I am,” he answered, holding Michael’s hands once more. “Are you not?”

He hesitated briefly before saying, “I’m fine.”

The wait before answering proved to be a split second too long. Jeremy’s grip loosened as he took a tiny step back. “You’re not. I know this is getting weird, and we don’t _have_ to do any of this,” he told him in a shaky voice.

Again, Jeremy was giving him a way out.

“No, no. I’m going to help you. I already said I would.”

Again, Michael didn’t take it.

“Okay.”

A tentative pause.

“Well, kiss away, I suppose,” he whispered.

The kiss was _much_ better.

At the statement, Jeremy had reached forwards and looped his arms around Michael’s neck. In the rush, Michael found that he had instinctively wrapped his arms around Jeremy’s waist in a tight hold. Not giving him any time to think, Jeremy had already begun feverently pressing his lips onto his. Michael gasped as he let his eyes close shut. Again, he tasted the tanginess of fruit punch and lemonade. Intoxicated by the flavor, his mouth fell open. In doing so, he noticed Jeremy’s lower lip slotted between his, which he chewed and licked with a hunger. Jeremy shuddered at the feeling. His warm breath ghosting over Michael’s mouth as he sighed, his arms around his neck tightening. In response, he slid his hands down from Jeremy’s waist to his hips and pulled him closer.

Briefly pulling back for a breath, Michael opened his eyes for a single moment to see Jeremy. His stare fell upon him with his eyes closed, cheeks flushed, and lips swollen and pink. Michael decided he could look at him for an eternity. Not quite returning to the kiss, he watched as Jeremy’s eyes open. Under a dark glare, his pupils were dilated, covering nearly half of the sparkling oceans of blue Michael had grown familiar with. He only smiled in response. With a pout, Jeremy had taken a fistful of Michael’s hair and pulled his face closer.

With a chuckle, Michael mumbled against his lips, “You’re so impatient.”

Jeremy only hummed in response. He seemed pleased to have his hand in Michael’s hair and proceeded to make a mess of it. Michael could feel him leaning into him as he seemed to stop supporting his own weight. How he was holding _himself_ up, was the real question. He didn’t even know how long they’d been kissing. It couldn’t have been an incredibly long or short time. But whenever he tried to think about something, his mind didn’t take him very far. He kept circling back to Jeremy. Jeremy in his arms. Jeremy running his hands through his hair. Jeremy tugging his lips with his teeth. The image of him with the unwavering glare, as if there wasn’t anything he should be doing _besides kissing him_ , was seared into his brain.

After a while, the kiss had lost its fire. Around two stops for air later, it had devolved into a soft make out session.That wasn’t to say that Michael wasn’t enjoying it, but it definitely wasn’t as heated. The too had moved to sit at the head of Jeremy’s bed. Michael was sitting back against the headboard with Jeremy settled comfortably on his lap. His initial stress over the matter had long been forgotten as they exchanged slow kisses and a tight embrace.

By the time the two had pulled away for good, both were flushed and out of breath.

Jeremy stared at him with a lazy smile. He wore a satisfied expression. Placing one smaller kiss on Michael’s lips, he slipped his arms behind the gap between Michael and the bed and rested his head on his shoulder.

After planting yet another small kiss on the side of his neck, Jeremy murmured, his speech slurred as if he were drunk or high, “Can we do this more often…?”

Glowing scarlet at the request, Michael said yes automatically. The real question would be whether or not he followed through. After a deprived six years of pining, he desperately wanted to be close to him. He had spent the over half a decade withholding the contact he had grown so accustomed to. It was a drug that he spent so long trying to quit. When he tried to stop, Michael had withdrawal anxieties. If Jeremy hadn’t tried to stop him whenever he initiated something, it would have never happened. To try and start again now after so long would kill him; he would fall in and never come out.

At the same time though, Michael couldn’t help but wonder if this could be worth it. Could there be a chance that something good came out of this? If he just _let_ himself enjoy this without thinking about the consequences, would he come out okay? Afterall, Michael knew what he was getting into. He knew that Jeremy just didn’t really like him that way. That was fine. If got over it, he might allow himself to indulge in this. Because, behind his nonsensical goals and aspirations, Jeremy was still his friend. He was his friend who was entrusting him to help him excel in his future relationships. Would it be a crime to just enjoy this chance?

After a serious back and forth in his mind, he had come to a conclusion.

 _No… No it wouldn’t_.

And then with a small kiss to the top of Jeremy’s head, he finally answered, “Yeah… We can _definitely_ do this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay soooo....... this tiny gremlin goes to high school on monday yIKES what a tragedy ehhhh.... So yeah updates wont be as quick anymore owghwiefgawe... I'll do my best to try and write throughout the week and update within 7 days of the last chapter. I really love writing this story so don't forget about meh ahhhh cri... Anyway. Yeah. Just a little heads up on that. I hope you have a TOP SAUCE day. Y'all are wild, and that's just the facts. ;p


	5. michael makes another (although significantly better) decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah ya lil gremlin pumped out yet another chapter before school ayeeeeeee!!!! and as usual, typooooos let me know them gee golly!! also, I know I told a commenter like 2(?) chapters ago I was gonna do a particular thing in this chapter, and IM SORRY I DIDN'T DO IT I ENDED UP DOING THIS THING AND IT WILL DEFINITELY HAPPEN IN THE NEXT CHAPTER I SWEAR IT JUST DIDN'T SEEM AS FITTING FOR THIS ONE,,,, Rip me ahhhh,,, anyway i'll shut up now go read this

The next following days were pleasant. The two clicked immediately as one would expect. A single hour in each other’s presence had at least three lingering hugs and ten to fifteen unnecessary (but not unappreciated) kisses. Michael was slowly finding himself the instigator of more and more of said kisses every day, and Jeremy certainly wasn’t saying anything against it. He seemed content with their current situation, even the new addition of nicknames.

They came five days after the “initiation kisses” as Michael called them. After a good morning kiss, Jeremy’s first words to him were, “Honey. You taste like honey. And salted, roasted almonds.” However, the way he said that made it sound as if he was addressing Michael as “Honey” like a nickname. Caught off guard at the info and what he assumed was a cute pet name, he in turn had fired back, “You into that, Babe?” with a warm face. And then it was Jeremy’s turn to be embarrassed. Ignoring the question, he had asked Michael where the name came from. Then, after a confused explanation and giggled response, the names had stuck.

The two were so picturesque, a stranger would never know the circumstances.

He attested that to the fact that his feelings were very _very_ real. He was able to uncap the bottle of feelings that had been shaken and building pressure for years. Remarkably sincere compliments, small gestures of affection, and freedom to dump his emotions without fear.

Michael texted Jeremy good morning, something that the latter had insisted was very important. Sometimes it would be a selfie. The other day, he was in a rush and it had just been the words, “good morning”. He thought it was a little silly at first. It didn’t seem to add anything to their relationship, but for Jeremy, he complied. The second day he did it though, he immediately found that he enjoyed it. Seeing a message from him always brought a small smile to his face. So today, Michael opted for a GIF. After receiving one in return, he had a little more energy. The day had begun. Breakfast, brush teeth, shower, get dressed, goodbye Nanay, and then out to the car.

At Jeremy’s, he was met with a brief kiss, something they had now perfected. The car ride had a familiar song, and the two chatted amiably about a new game that they had seen a trailer of. They passed back opinions on graphics, character designs, and story. Michael paid attention to what Jeremy critiqued, knowing that regardless of what he said, he would enjoy the game anyway. He always seemed to have such high standards in theory but loved almost everything in practice. With a smile, he had pointed it out to Jeremy, who gleefully admitted the accusation was true.

And when they arrived at school, Michael wasted no time to hold Jeremy’s hand. People had stopped bothering with the looks, and the two had indulged in subtle PDA with pride. He felt a rush whenever he gave Jeremy a small kiss in the halls. It was something to look forward to as he tried to pay attention in class. Note the word tried. Just _looking_ like he had an interest was already difficult enough with Jeremy and his support crew texting him. Five periods had passed, and Michael was wracking his brain to think about what they had just gone over in history. With a sigh, he decided he’d ask Jeremy. He was bored to death by U.S. history, but he did have an interest in world history. He would take pictures of his notes when they inevitably visited each other after school.

Meeting him in front of the mural of the school’s mascot as they now did, they made their way to the cafeteria. Sitting down together at the table, their small circle threw out small jokes and teases about them.

“Oh, it’s the newlyweds!”

“Hey, when’s the honeymoon?”

“Congrats on finally tying the knot, dudes.”

Jeremy had clutched his hand with a blush. They’d been joked about before, but it’s been a while. The only things that happened now were the subtle tracing of the “BOYF” and “RIENDS” on their backpacks, courtesy of Rich. He seemed to be getting more creative nowadays, drawing little pixelated hearts around the letters. Suspecting that this was also of his doing, Michael gave him a pointed look.

The guy chuckled, “I just wanted to try and make your practice relationship as immersive as possible! You know… Prepare you guys for the real deal. And I got the whole squad to help!”

As Jeremy both scolded them and indirectly thanked them (on the help, not the wedding of course), Michael sighed in both relief and disappointment at the reminder that this was still a fake relationship. Jeremy had stopped mentioning anything about the nature of it. As a result, Michael may have begun to push away the thought at all times. He had let himself take the drug of this touch and had become addicted for more.

Plastering on a smile, he shook himself out of his thoughts and swore to one day give Rich a different kind of emotional rant than usual. He would to express his fears to the chat at some point. That, of course, he didn’t say out loud. Instead, he tried to distract himself by playing their game.

Michael wrapped an arm around Jeremy’s waist and gave him a kiss on the top of his head saying, “Come on, Babe, we can tell them!” Turning to meet everyone’s cheshire grins, he announced to the table, “Yeah, we’re going to a resort in the Philippines.”

At that, the small crew clapped and cheered. Jeremy hid his face in his shoulder, but he could feel the vibrations of his laughter. There were calls for them to name any future kids they would adopt after them and claims over who would get to be the godparents. Everyone was content putting in their own dream versions of their future. Rich and Jake bickered over who would be the favorite uncle, Christine was ready to babysit, Jenna was going to record and photograph every moment, and Chloe and Brooke promised a room in their penthouse for when they needed a break.

Michael found himself fantasizing just as much as the others. Imaginary future Michael was doing great as he produced his own music from home. He wrote pages and pages of lyrics, some of which would never see the light of day, but were good nonetheless. Some hours passed, and he was off to pick up their three imaginary future kids from school. He criticised his oldest daughter’s taste in music for only listening to the radio but gladly sang along as top 40 hits rang through the air. His son, the middle child, would tell him about how he didn’t know how to beat a level in one of their old video games, and he’d share how it took him three weeks to beat it. His son would beat it in one. Then, he’d listen to how his youngest child, a little girl, had won some school race and earned a fifty dollar Target giftcard.

At home, he would spend some time with them before returning to his work. And finally, right as he found the perfect melody, his husband would return home from a long day teaching ancient history at a nearby university. Imaginary future Jeremy would walk through the door in whatever dumb hipster teacher aesthetic outfit he wore that day, and shout, “Honey, I’m home!” in both a joking and affectionate tone. He’d greet the kids and tell them about his day over dinner but leave out all the annoying parts for Michael before they slept. During that time, he’d complain about that one imaginary future college freshman who thinks he’s funny, and Michael would sing him a few lines he wrote that day. They fell asleep in each other’s arms. Their life was good.

Embarrassingly, it took the blaring lunch bell to shake Michael out of his daydreams. Jeremy later asked him what he was so focused on with “that dumb smiley face of yours.” He half-lied, simply telling saying, “the future.”

Two more blurry periods later, they were at Michael’s house. He asked that they look into a number of Filipino resorts. Jeremy complied with a dusting of rose over his cheeks.

When Jeremy had finally left his house, Michael let the familiar feelings of euphoria and longing wash over him. He had quickly found that they had followed every visit. Each one, and this one especially, had brought upon a contentedness unlike any other he had experienced. This was the dream wasn’t it?

Tucking himself into bed, Michael wanted to say that he couldn’t have been happier.

That would’ve been a lie.

He didn’t notice it during the day. All he could pay attention to during the day was the brush of hands, the feel of skin, a shifting of fabric, and the soft touch of lips. They were great flashing signs in his mind throughout the day that outshined the smaller, dim thoughts. It was at night when he finally paid attention to the unnoticable light of doubt. It shamed him. He should’ve backed out the day Jeremy kissed him. That is to say, immediately. Any day now, the welcomed warmth of their charade would intensify into a burning heat, and not something of passion. One could only stay so long in the sun before it got to them. Step away, his doubt said, and he could save himself the injury. The mention of it at lunch had been only a warning.

Things weren’t bad during the day. Of course they weren’t. But, his actions always seemed to catch up to him at night. Michael couldn’t shake the feeling that something should change. That first day had shown him a clear image of what he had always strived for but never pursued. It seemed like a grand build up into something that would rewrite his entire life from thereon in. He had seen clouds in the distance, but that didn’t always mean it would rain. From where Michael stood by the shores, it was all too far away to tell. He knew he should not wish for a storm, but on this empty beach that was their current relationship, he seeked something greater than what he had now.

What Michael really wanted was just a verbal confirmation. A wake up call, a dream come true. Either one would have been fine with him. He just needed to know if Jeremy would ever stop him. He needed to know how this would end. A month wasn’t endless; eight days had passed since that fateful Wednesday on which Michael volunteered himself for this. Seven days since his first kiss. Twenty three days remained, and while they may have at the moment seemed like a lifetime, they would certainly pass by in a flash. Hell, he found it hard to believe that it had already been a week. He was just getting comfortable now.

Staring up at the ceiling and its dark corners, he thought about how Jeremy’s had glow in the dark stars sticked. In seventh grade, he had gone through a space phase. It was something he never quite grew out of to Michael’s surprise. The aesthetic of the room was long gone, but one night while camping, Jeremy was able to identify an impressive number of stars and constellations. That, and he knew that Jeremy always chose galaxy lockscreens for his phone.

Not on his homescreen, though. That was an aesthetic selfie of the two of them had taken on accident one summer afternoon. Jeremy never had the same images for his lockscreen and homescreen. For the longest time no one ever saw. Their group had only just found out one day during lunch when his dad texted him about dinner. They didn’t catch what his homescreen really _was_ though, only that it was a different color than his lockscreen. Since then, they’d been trying to get into Jeremy’s phone, but to no avail. No one could guess his password, and he had taken great precautions into making sure no one saw him open it. Only he and Michael could seem to get in. (It was Michael’s birthday, but every two digit pair making up the month, day and year was flip flopped. And then those numbers were put backwards. Michael’s was the same, but with Jeremy’s birthday.)

But he digressed. Stars. Yes, that’s what he was thinking of. When Jeremy put those stars up, one of the first things that he said to Michael was that he should get some as well. Michael, although fond of the aesthetic, did not want the stars and had asked why. He still remembered the sleepy conversation they had the night after putting them up.

_“I wanna’ look up at night and know that we share the same sky. It’s not real, but it’s the feelings that count right?”_

_“I… Um… I guess, but don’t we do that during the day?”_

_“Exactly. During the day, but not at night. I want to share_ all _of my time with you.”_

Michael broke the silence of his room with a small laugh. _That’s smooth as fucks for a seventh grader. What’s this ‘practice’ for,_ he thought. Curling further into his blanket, he focused on one thing that Jeremy said back then.

_“...It’s not real, but it’s the feelings that count right?”_

The phrase applied to his situation disturbingly well. Whatever they had right now wasn’t the real deal, but that didn’t mean that Michael wasn’t pouring his heart into making sure Jeremy felt loved. It made him wonder what Jeremy was trying to do back then. Whatever it could have been, it made him begin to regret not buying the matching stars. He made a mental note to buy some soon.

Well, if he was going to try and do something about that five year old request, he supposed he should do something for this eight day long lie, shouldn’t he? This was what he needed in the beautiful illusion of their relationship. It was a change, an answer to a question he was afraid to ask. Michael still wouldn't ask but he would do something else. He’d be expressive. He would win Jeremy over, and after some mulling over, he knew exactly how he’d do it.

That night, Michael went to sleep knowing that tomorrow could maybe, just _maybe_ be different.

When he woke up the next morning he was feeling unusually ready for the day. His good morning text was a selfie, and he tried to eat a fruit for breakfast along with his waffle. Michael sang in the shower and even full on _ran_ to the car. He was going to get this over with as soon as he saw Jeremy.

As expected, all of that confident resolve crumbled once he actually saw him.

He didn’t know why. Jeremy wasn’t dressed especially nice or saying anything particularly flirtatious. He just… Michael couldn’t bring himself to do it. There was no reason _not_ to. He couldn’t see anyway for this to go wrong. Jeremy would totally say yes. Things would start to _happen_. This was supposed to be the day for Michael to get the ball rolling, but whenever he opened his mouth, all he could do was spit out another shitty, but somehow humorous remark.

All they did was kiss, get in the car, and make their way to school. By the time they split for first period though, all Michael knew was that he hadn’t been able to ask Jeremy the oh-so important question. He briefly considered just texting him the question, but no one just does that over _text_. Well, maybe. Some people probably did. A lot of people actually. But he wasn’t going to be one of them. So, he swore that he would ask him at lunch.

Lunch rolled around. Michael did not ask. He tried to give himself an excuse. _There were too many people. I didn’t want them to be a pressure. It was a private question,_ but he knew very well that all of it was absolute bullshit. If Jeremy said no, there would be nothing to be upset about because still had all this. There were no real stakes or risk in trying to ask Jeremy this. All Michael could do was gain or have things stay the same. At the end of lunch though, whatever opportunity he had had already slipped away.

Was it because he was subconsciously afraid no matter what he told himself? Pshh…. No. Of course not.

It wasn’t until they were four levels into Apocalypse of the Damned that Michael started to acknowledge the fact that he was indeed, _very scared_. He was definitely lying to himself earlier when he thought “He couldn't see anyway for this to go wrong.” In his cowardly waiting, he had thought of a number of ways it could go wrong. Jeremy could be offput or intimidated by it, and maybe he’d ask him to stop the whole “fake dating” deal. Although, that didn’t sound too terrible to him…

But did his moms raise a quitter? _Hell no_. He was going to commit.

Michael glanced at the clock as he shot more bullets into the zombie ahead of him. In the darkness of Jeremy's unlit bedroom, the LED clock's dim screen seemed to shine. A bright red glowed, reading 4:47. He always went home at 5. If this was going to happen, he’d have to ask him soon.

Once they had finished the level, it was 4:53 and he was tugging on his shoes to leave. Now or never.

Before he walked out the door, he turned to Jeremy. Rocking back and forth on his heels, he called his attention, “Hey, Babe?”

“Yeah, Hon?”

“Are you free on Saturday? Like, _tomorrow_ Saturday?”

“Always. Why?”

“Do you wanna go on a date? Like, for your… Your practice thing?” Michael winced at his own mention of it but felt it necessary to make the distinction. He feared he would be coming on too strong if he didn’t.

Jeremy’s eyes widened in surprise, a light rose painting itself across his face. He bit the inside of his cheek before an angelic smile spread over his face as he placed a small peck to the tip of Michael’s nose. “I’d love to.”

The feeling of relief rushed through his body as he said jovially, “That’s great! Okay. Yeah… Um, I’ll pick you at eleven tomorrow?”

“Sounds good!”

And with a final kiss and a hug goodbye, Michael was in his car on the way home. Starting tomorrow, he would make things change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> o k a y . after this relatively uneventful, mostly reflective chapter, I REALLY probably won't be as active. I didn't think I'd get this up but wowza here it is pals!! Hope you enjoyyyyyed. Fun fact, the little birthday passcode thing that Jeremy and Michael did?? Yeah, if I did it with my birthday, it would,,, be the same as my birthday,,, anyway. HAVE A GREAT DAY I LOVE Y'ALL ARE WILD.

**Author's Note:**

> I write pretty inconsistently ngl, so we'll see how often I update this. I'll definitely try and write each chapter in a week or less hmmm. Welp, I feedback is Good And Appreciated, as this is my first chaptered fanfic. So. Yee! Hmu on Tumblr [@zellymaybloom](https://zellymaybloom.tumblr.com) if you are so inclined to do so. That is all; I hope you have a saucy day!!


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